Last Blog of the Year!

I absolutely adore Christmas.  I love giving presents, and seeing my family's reactions when they open them! I asked Cory's sister what she wanted for Christmas this year, and she said she didn't know what to ask for, because I always give the best gifts! :)

Last Friday night we headed home to my parents' (about an hour and a half drive, so not so bad), to have our little Christmas on Saturday morning.  My mom was excited to have all of the kids home, and it was nice to be able to spend the night! :)  We visited my grandparents too, since we weren't going to be able to make theirs on Christmas Eve.
Then we headed back up to La Crosse, because I had to work until noon on Christmas eve.  Both Cory's mom and I work at Gundersen Lutheran, and the clinics were only open until noon, so then we headed to her house for dinner and presents!  I never know what to ask for, so I got a lot of cute stuff for our house :)  Then, the family sat down to play some intense rounds of Michigan Rummy, and of course, we forgot our nickels!  Next year, we will dominate!

Cory's Step-Grandma got me a pearl necklace,
complete with the pearl still in the clam!  That thing was a  buggar to open!  That's Cory's
little brother Dillon watching over me :)

We really didn't take many pictures this Christmas, which is surprising because I got Cory a new camera!  Geez, what a slacker!

Then Christmas morning we woke up and went to Cory's dad's house for a breakfast of delicious waffles cooked by his step mom.  We got a toaster oven from them!  I am definitely looking forward to moving so we have a place to put all of the awesome new stuff that we got! 

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and I wish you the best in 2013!

'Tis the Season!

What a tizzy my life has been lately!  I suppose the holidays will do that to you!  We had a crazy blizzard here on Thursday... well ok, it really didn't turn out to be that crazy.. south of here got a lot more snow!  I ended up with a snow day from the mall, apparently it was dead, so my manager called and told me not to come in, which I was not going to argue with!  All the parents picking up their kids said the roads were awful, so I just wanted to head home.

We finished up our Christmas shopping today, nothing like last minute!  But, we just had to get a couple of gift cards, so it wasn't so bad.  Plus, I still have to finish up a pair of slippers for Cory's grandma, but I should be able to have them done before I head to work at 3.  Hopefully with it being the Sunday before Christmas, time will fly and I'll be home in no time.

It's hard to believe that I've been on WW for 2 months, almost 3.  I haven't decided if I am going to continue with my subscription or not.  I feel like until I can invest my time and exercise, that I am not going to really get anywhere with dieting alone.  I have lost 7 pounds, and maintained that loss, so that makes me feel really good!  I am hoping to join a gym after the holidays, or get out there and start walking again.. it's just hard to do that when it's so darn cold out, and I don't get home until after it's dark.  I do have some work out videos (ok, am I dating myself or what?!  They really are dvds.. lol) that I enjoy doing, just have to find room to do it since we have such a HUGE coffee table now!  I know, listen to those excuses!  My New Year's resolution?  NO MORE EXCUSES.  I can do this!  Rumor has it there's a free gym on campus for employees to use, I need to look into that!


Happy Holidays fellow bloggers from myself & Cory.. and our fur babies, Bubba & Masha! :)

We clean up pretty nice ;)

Bubba loves Thirty-One!

And Masha loves attention!

Happy December!

So, I'm kind of bad at this blogging thing!  I would love to have time to blog every day, or even every other, but darn retail job will keep me busy until after Christmas!  I just keep thinking of how awesome my paychecks will be!

First up, weigh-in day!  It was my "recovery" week after Thanksgiving, and I am hoping to be awesome for these next few weeks so I can be doing well going in to Christmas.  This week, I'm down 2 pounds for a total weight loss of 7 pounds.  I can't really tell that I've lost weight yet.. so I'm looking for a way to begin working exercise into my schedule so I can keep kicking butt!

Cory and I got our first Christmas Tree today!  I've never had a live tree before, my family only had an artificial one growing up, and last year, we just had a little one that I bought for my apartment when I lived alone. I plan on taking that to my classroom and putting it up, hopefully our kids will leave it alone!  I also found a bunch of window clings at Wal-Mart to decorate with, and a co-worker is giving me a ton of decorations!  I'm excited to start collecting things, because some of the girls have been teaching for years, and have beautiful decorations that I really can't afford right now.

Here is our tree!

I love our tree!  It was only $15, I had no idea trees were so inexpensive!  I have a bunch of ornaments that mom gave me from when I was growing up, and a few that I bought myself.  I'm not quite ready to put the breakable ones on yet, because I'm not sure how the kitties will react, but they have been very good so far!  It smells soo good in my house, I am loving it! :)

Thanksgiving

So, I gained weight this week.  I knew I would.. and didn't track my points this week because of that.  I was just surprised at the amount of weight I gained.  Of the 11 I lost, I put 7 of it back on.  My weigh-in is on Sundays, and when I weighed myself again on Monday (not that I count it, I just can't stay away from that darn scale), I had gained that 7 pounds back, before Thanksgiving was even in the picture.  That really surprised me, so I moved the scale around my room a little, but my weight stayed the same.  So I really wondered how accurate my first few weigh-ins were, if I just lost a bunch of water weight that was super easy to take off.  I was honestly surprised at how easy it came off, so not going to lie, I was a little suspicious.  Oh well, I am still 4 pounds down from where I started out, and that makes me feel pretty darn good!  I'll just have to keep up the hard work, and keep working at it :)  Like my cousin said, it took us our whole lives to put this weight on, it's not going to come off overnight! :)

My cell phone has been going downhill for the past couple of months (not that I ever drop it or anything...), and finally it took one last fall.  The phone still works, but it won't recognize my SD card, so I can't take pictures, all of my pictures are gone, and all of my ringtones are gone.  So really, it's not a huge deal, but still, I'd like to be able to have that option on my phone.  So, I ordered a phone on ebay, and unfortunately, it didn't work when I received it.  I'm shipping it back tomorrow and hopefully they will have a new phone to me this week, otherwise I'm just going to send it back for a refund.

I'm also sending out my huge slipper order this week!  11 pairs of slippers and 2 hats to a customer for Christmas gifts for her staff!  This was my biggest order, and I'm excited to have it done and out of the way so I can start stocking my Etsy shop! :)

All of the finished slippers :)

Week 5

Today is the beginning of my 5th week of WW.  I was a little nervous about my weigh-in today because I had fast food a couple of times this week, and had bowling alley food (mmmm jalapeno poppers) and a drink (or three...ish).  But.. drumroll please!  I lost another 4.9 pounds this week, which brings me to a total of 11.1 pounds lost!  According to WW, I'm losing weight too fast, but I have an appointment with my doctor soon, and I'll ask her what she thinks about it.
It feels so good to see the number on that scale drop!  I'm hoping in the next few months to join the gym and maybe get a personal trainer so I can add exercise to my regimen.  I would like to walk more, but working 2 jobs doesn't leave much time for that, especially when it's dark at 5 pm these days!  I haven't noticed much change physically, I feel like my stomach is getting a little smaller, and I don't have to suck it in *so much* to get into my jeans every morning.. lol.  I don't need to be super skinny, I just want to be a better me!

Insomnia

I've been battling a cold all week, and it's been kicking my booty!  Today was my short day at work, so I was done at noon and came home and took a nap, and ended up sleeping until 5 when it was time for me to head to the mall.  Luckily I had set an alarm... otherwise I think I would have slept all night!  And now, I feel like I'm paying for it.  My alarm is set to go off in 3 hours, and I am feeling wide awake.. like it's 3 p.m, not a.m.!  It's going to be a looooong day tomorrow, at least I only have to work at the daycare.  So now, I'm sitting here watching the Breaking Amish reunion special.  I have no idea why I am so obsessed with this show and all it's drama.. the more I watch it, the more fake it seems, but now I'm sucked in!

I was bad and had McDonald's twice this week.  So I'll have to watch what I eat the rest of the week (which I guess is only today and Saturday), but I dipped into my weekly points and have to be careful not to go over.  Especially since my family is coming up this weekend, and I know we will go out to eat.  But, I am looking forward to the shopping, that's for sure :)  One of my daycare babies turns 1 soon and it's her birthday party this weekend, so I am excited to buy a present for her!

First weigh-in!

Well, for those of you who didn't see my Facebook post, I had my first official weigh-in on Sunday, and lots 6 pounds!  Although I am a little worried, I know how much weight can fluctuate (especially mine!) so I'm not sure if I'll be able to lose that this week, or even any at all.  I'm not very good at staying away from the scale during the week, and according to that, I've gained 3 pounds back.. But, I will still consider that an overall 3 pound loss, and that feels pretty good!


I did have a few "treats" this week, I went out to Carlos O'Kelly's with some girls that I used to work with, and then yesterday Cory and I went to BWW since we both had the afternoon off.  I feel like I made pretty good decisions, going with the "lite" enchilada at Carlos (it really didn't taste that great) and a wrap at BWW instead of those delicious fried wings ;)  Then, I came home and looked up the nutrition information for both of them and calculated the points from that.  I'm thinking next time I will definitely skip the fries and the margarita, but it's ok to have a treat every once in awhile :)

I also want to get better at planning on what I'm going to have before I go out.  I know some foods are overwhelmed with calories, but then they don't turn out to be so many points.  If Weight Watchers doesn't have that restaurant listed, I can only hope the nutrition information I find online is accurate.. I really thought more places had their nutrition stuff posted online.

Tonight I am babysitting for one of my favorite little girls!  I am hoping that she will go to bed early and I can get a ton of crocheting done.. I am almost done with my huge slipper order!  Then, my mom and I are planning on starting an Etsy shop when the holidays are over, I am beyond excited to do that!

AND!  Cory's sister just got engaged!  I am so looking forward to helping her plan my (oops.. little slip there) her wedding, even if I can't plan my own quite yet ;)

Cory & I at Halloween, Clay Matthews and Frauline Allison :)

Halloween!

So, we might be celebrating a little later than everyone else, but tonight is my friends' Halloween Party!  It is also Cory's sister's birthday, so we are looking forward to meeting them downtown later in the evening!  I'll have to be careful about what I drink, I better check and see what points are before I go out!

Last years costumes!  Flo (the progressive girl!) and Doug Funnie :)

I thought about going as Flo again this year, but this is the 3rd year in a row, so I'm thinking it might be time to retire her... maybe FloBot next year ;)

Excuses

So being a daycare teacher, naptime can give you a lot of time to think.  Our kids are great at sleeping for 2 hours, so beyond that and taking our breaks, I have some free time in the classroom.  Today, I spent it thinking about my [short] journey so far, and some of my bad eating habits.  I always said the reason that I ate fast food so often was because I worked 2 jobs, and just didn't have time to eat anything healthy.  But, I realized today, after working a short, 4-hour shift at the daycare, and not having to work at the mall tonight, in the past, I would have gone to McDonald's on my way home.  What was my excuse then?  There was no reason to come home at 4 in the afternoon and not find time to cook dinner that evening.  It is definitely not going to be easy, but who said it would be?  It's a lifestyle change, and I am ready to make it.

Day #3

It's my 3rd day on Weight Watchers, and my weigh in day.  I decided to do it on Sundays, which didn't give me much time from my first weigh-in to today's.  So, I ended up gaining 2 lbs.  A little disappointing, but I know that I am just on the beginning of my journey, and need to turn it around for next week!  Plus, I had a birthday party last night, so I indulged in some birthday cake and drinks, and had to dip into my weekly points.

I've gone through Pinterest and found a ton of websites with Weight Watchers recipes, so now I'm excited to go grocery shopping and start cooking!  I also love that I have the app on my phone, so I can keep track of eating when I'm away from my computer, like at work and stuff.  I was looking up some of the stuff that I used to eat.. and it crazy how many points some of them were!  Like my Large Pretzel bites that I would run over and get during my shifts at CJ Banks when I needed something quick to eat.  17 points, and that isn't including the cheese that I would get with them!  That's almost half of my points that I'm allowed for the day.

It's difficult working 2 jobs and not going through the drive through, just because it's so convenient.  I just found a whole website with WW crockpot recipes, so I plan making my slow cookers my best friends :)  I mean, I have 3 of them, so I really have no excuse ;)

I am also going to start walking again.. I need to get out there on the nights that I have off from the mall.

Tomorrow!

Well, tomorrow is the day!  Through Gundersen Lutheran, they have a MyHealth rewards system in order for them to have more healthy employees.  If you take an online survey, and then a 10 minute physical, they will give you $120.  Then, after your physical, they will give you recommendations, such as weight loss programs, smoking cessation programs, etc.  If you continue with their recommendations and set up goals, you will get $360.  I am ready for a new me, and I feel like this will be extra incentive to keep going.  I'm ready to shop and see cute things in the store, and actually have them fit me.  No more of this hoping my clothes will stretch to fit me.

So, once again, I am going to post my "before" picture... and I am hoping at this time next year, I will have an amazing "after" picture!  Wait.  No hoping.  I WILL have an after picture! :)

Me, Michelle, and Janelli at Michelle's Bachelorette Party.
Here's to being thin for my bachelorette party! (Someday!) 

Back to Normal?

So Friday was my 1 month anniversary of my 1st day at Gundersen.  I have to say, it is going really well, I am loving my job!  Although I really miss my families at MMOC, I am lucky to have some of them at Gundersen with me.  The toddlers keep me busy, so the days go fast!  I am also working a ton at the mall, we started a new store initiative, so I am getting a TON of hours there.

Now that my life is falling into place.. I am ready for a change for myself.  I am going to join Weight Watchers and make a positive change in my life.  This change is for me, and me alone.  I want to be able to feel good in my skin, and feel confident about myself as a person.  I have never felt like that, ever.  And I am SO ready to.  I want to get better at blogging, and am hoping to record my journey in this blog... so any support will be welcome.  I know I've said this a million times before, but this time, I am ready for a change.

One of those days.

Have you ever had one of those days?  Where you don't even feel like getting out of bed?  Now I'm feeling guilty about it.  One of my friends ran a big race today that was very important to her and had some friends over after she finished... yet, I didn't go hang out with her.  Why?  I don't know.. I didn't "feel" like it.   Then, I started feeling bad, because I know how important it was to her, and I couldn't be bothered to go hang out.  Plus, an old co-worker of mine called me four times today... when I wasn't feeling up to talking to anyone really.


I guess it's just been a long week... hopefully I can sleep it off tonight.

A new step! :)

This week I finally started my job at the Gundersen Lutheran Daycare!  I was so excited just to be back to work again.. I can't imagine being unemployed for a long time, 1 week of sitting around doing nothing was enough for me!  The hospital has so many orientations and things that I have to go through, I'm still not done with all of them yet!  They had to put me in the classroom right away, so I'm in the infant room this week while the regular teachers are out on vacation/medical leave.  So, I'm hoping by next week I'll be in my classroom, getting in the groove of things with my co-teacher, and starting to do lesson plans and all that fun stuff!

I've been doing a lot of crocheting lately, and I am hoping soon to open my own etsy shop!  Here are a few things that I have made recently!

Skull Beanie that I made for my manager at CJ Banks.  I'm pretty proud of this one!

Green Bay Packers wrap around headband.. I am loving these too!

Women's Green Bay Packers hat, this was part of a set for a Mom, Dad, and their son.

Poked and Prodded.

Today was the first step in starting my new job at Gundersen!  I had my pre-employment physical.. and to get a TB test, Tdp shot, and had blood drawn!  Good thing I'm not too afraid of needles... lol.  I think the scariest part was stepping on the scale.  I had weighed myself yesterday so I had kind of prepared myself, but I feel like nothing could have prepared myself for that number.  I am hoping once I get settled in my routine, and now that I have some awesome insurance, I would like to start seeing a nutritionist... I need someone to get me going.

I'm excited to start working again... I've been driving myself nuts with apartment hunting and just really want to be settled in a place.  But, I need a paycheck to be able to pay a deposit, so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place!  Ugh, life!  :P

What a month!

I feel like I just had a post talking about what a crazy week it had been.. but I feel like the whole month of August was completely CRAZY (and even that might be an understatement)!
We started apartment hunting because we had 7 bats in the span of 3 weeks.  Got a few of them out by myself (boys are such weenies), called Animal Control for a couple, and Bubba helped me catch a few (then we had to get a booster for his rabies vaccination).  We were pretty upset when our landlord said he wasn't going to do more than buy a can of caulk and fill some gaps, and since we hadn't re-signed our lease, we started to look.  I don't care for the place we live... I guess it's a roof over our head, but I feel like for $600 a month, we can get a lot nicer and bigger place.  However, it's extremely hard to find apartments that allow pets!  I love my kitties, but they're making this search hard!

Then, at the beginning of the month, we found out that the Child Care Center I was working in would be closing.  The building we were in had major damage that would cost too much money for the Parish to repair, so they, along with the Catholic School system in La Crosse and the diocese simply decided to discontinue the Early Childhood portion of their school system.  I felt awful for my families.. there are very few centers in La Crosse that take infants... let alone children under 2.  I wasn't worried about finding a job myself, I just wanted to make sure that my families were taken care of.

On that note, I have been looking for jobs like crazy.  Thankfully, I had an amazing boss who gave wonderful recommendations, so I was a shoe-in for any job I applied to.  I interviewed and accepted a position, but then an even better position came up at Gundersen Lutheran hosptial's childcare center.  I was so excited because so many of my kids were going there (I'll be a toddler teacher, so I'll have some of the kids that I had as infants!) so I'll be able to see a lot of "my" families!  It was hard to call the other job and tell them that I  was accepting another position, but they were very understanding.  I'll be starting next Friday, so it's going to be nice to have a few days off to go home and be with my family and my mom who is still recovering from the surgery she had a few weeks ago.

Oh, and to make things even more interesting, my car is breaking on me!  I had to replace my front struts and shocks... so that was about $700.  Thank goodness I won't be getting paid monthly at my new job!

Wow, what a novel.  Anyone who reads all of this gets a cookie... haha.

One Week!

I know this might seem petty to a lot of people... and I even had a "friend" once rip on me for doing it, but I haven't eaten at McDonald's in a whole week!  I have a really bad habit of going there after I get done at the mall, or even if I have an early day at daycare and can just pop on over there.  Oh sure, I make sure I switch up McDs, and hope that the same people aren't working, and pray they don't recognize me or my order from before.  I would tell myself, "It's ok that you're going to eat so much food, you've hardly eaten anything all day!"  Which, in and of itself, is not healthy either.. It's amazing the excuses I give to myself that I need to work on getting over.
One thing that made it easier was not having any money.  I have about $3 in my checking account right now, and that doesn't go very far.  I feel that my real challenge will be on payday, because that's when I'm the most guilty of stopping at the drive through.  It's the end of the month, I actually have money, and we are running out of food in the house because we need to go grocery shopping.  So, why not stop and get that Big Mac?

I am still working on cooking, and having healthy things around the house.  It's been really hard because with my old job, I got paid once a month, and even though I had a 2nd job at the mall, we really only got to grocery shop once a month.  I always felt bad having Cory go and pick up stuff that we needed, so I usually got by on what we had.  But, with my new job, I will go back to being paid bi-weekly again, thank goodness!  So, I am going to work on getting over that temptation of food on payday!

Why?

Three times this week.  That's how many times I went to McDonalds.  And with I eat, that's twice as many calories as I should be eating in a day.  After I eat it, I feel awful.  And yet, I still stop at the drive through. I still spend the money.  That's $30 this week, $30 that I could have spent on bills.  And the worst part?  I ordered some new jeans from Maurices this week.. size 26, and they were pretty snug.  I kept telling myself, I'll wear them a few times, not throw them in the dryer and they'll be stretched out in no time.  But there is no reason I should be wanting to STRETCH out size 26's.  So what did I do the next day after work?  Hit up the drive through.

When I was a freshman in college, I did the opposite of most freshman.  I actually lost weight.  I was walking all over, lived on the 4th floor of my building, didn't keep any food in my room, and ate small meals at the cafeteria (since that was really the only place my meal plan allowed me to eat).  I lost almost 40 pounds, and was down to a size 18... the smallest I can remember.  Then, junior year, I was able to get the meal plan where you could eat anywhere on campus, at any time.  So, I started eating sandwiches and fries for lunch almost every day. Then in the evening, it was burgers and fries.  When I moved off campus, it helped a little bit, I was able to make my own meals, but I still had those ridiculous curly fries at lunch everyday.  So, I gained it all back.

I keep making promises to myself, saying that I'll stop with the fast food, eat healthier, exercise.  Do I ever do it?  No.  I need to figure something out.. and fast.  Nutritionist?  Weight Watchers?  What is going to hold me accountable?

What a week.

It's definitely been awhile since I've been so stressed.  It's really hard staying motivated when you know you're losing your job.  But, I know I have to keep trucking, for the kids. We've already lost a couple of our students, and it's been really hard.  Your daycare kids become a huge part of your life when you see them for 40+ hours a week.  It's been really hard on the families too, trying to find new care.  Some of them are holding out to see where I'm going to be teaching, but that's hard to tell them too, especially since I haven't been offered a job yet, and the jobs I've been applying for don't have infant care.  Some people are still holding on to the hope that we might stay open after all of this.  So, I guess all I can do is keep applying, and get myself out there.

Yesterday, we also helped Holly move into her new apartment!  It was gorgeous, and HUGE!  You should see the counter space and her walk-in closet!  I wanted those apartments, but I am so happy for her! :)

On the menu this week? Balsamic Vinaigrette Strawberry Salad  Only... I didn't have Olive Oil.. so I used peanut oil?  It doesn't taste too bad to me, but we will see!  I also froze my pint of strawberries, since I let my other batch get moldy.  They'll be good for shakes and smoothies too!

What a turn of events...

So, I was complaining about my job last week... and yesterday we found out that our center will be closing, for good.  Apparently, the building we are occupying is in need of major repair, and the church we rent from has made the decision not to go ahead of repairs.  Plus, the catholic school system here decided we were not a profitable venture (which I don't understand... aren't schools non-profit organizations?), so they decided to completely eliminate the early childhood program.  It really broke my heart, knowing how many families are desperate for child care now.  I know for a fact we are one of very few infant programs in the city, so parents were scrambling to find care for their children.
So now, I am on the scramble to find a new job.  We do get unemployment, but it's through the Diocese and not the state, so it's not quite as much as I need.  So I am praying that I will find another job before the month is up.  I have already applied a few places, and one of my friends just tipped me about a job, so I will be calling about that tomorrow.  My boss is very understanding, I'm just afraid that all of our families will leave, and there won't even be enough kids to keep us employed for the rest of the month.


Ah, life.  It's full of surprises, isn't it?

Oh life...

What a week it's been! As most of you know, I am an infant teacher. Well, earlier this year, they decided to make a change in my room. Instead of the babies moving up when they are starting to crawl (around 6 or 7 months), we are now keeping them until they are a year old. It's definitely taking some used to! Right now we have 8 babies, ranging in age from 8 months to a year! Before, we usually had babies who were 2 months to about 6 months. I am loving this age, the kids all have such great personalities, and it is great watching them interact with each other! All of them are at least rolling around the room, if not crawling or walking! It does get hectic when they are all hungry and tired at the same time, so this week was VERY stressful. And although I love daycare, it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I love the kids, but it's a stressful and underpaid (and I feel sometimes under-appreciated) job. This week, one of the moms mentioned that because she has her Master's Degree, she gets paid very well at the library. This really surprised me, I always figured librarians wouldn't make much more than me. I remember being little and my mom telling me that I would make a great librarian, so I researched it, and found out that I could get my
Master of Library and Information Science from UW-Milwaukee completely online. I was super excited to find that out, because if I did my master's online, I would be able to continue working full-time. So, I don't know, a lot of things to think about!

I also need to get going on my crocheting! I have sooo many orders that I need to get done, a lot for Christmas! I'm looking forward to making some extra cash and paying some bills :)

Feeling Creative!

I have been bitten by the crocheting bug!  I remember my mom teaching me years ago, and until recently, I've never really gotten beyond simple things like blankets and scarves.  However, thanks to Pinterest, I have been finding some amazing and free patterns!  I taught myself how to make hats, and I even made a wrap-around headband!

I am hoping to sell some of my work, just to make a little extra cash, so any sharing of these would be appreciated!  Not that anyone reads my blog anyways, I'm just so proud that I made these, I had to share them :)

My Green Bay Packer hats that I made for my friend Katie!

My wrap around headband... Don't mind the sweaty model.. It's a little too warm for these things!

Credit for the hat patterns: Michell

Credit for headband pattern: Celestial's Creations

Credit for flower pattern: For the Love of Yarn

Motivation.

Last night was my best friend's bachelorette party.  I had a great time, I got to see a ton of friends and party it up.  But this morning, when I was looking at all the pictures from the night, I was horrified.

I have heard from many people to have a picture for inspiration, your "fat picture."  I suppose I shouldn't be so negative, but that's what it is.  I couldn't believe how big I looked.  Not that I've ever been small, but it was just like a reality check with these pictures, because it's been awhile since I've seen myself, besides in the mirror.

I will be committed.  I will be strong.  I will do this.

Somewhat Strange

So, even though I haven't been trying my hardest, I have had a ton of people say that I look like I have been losing weight.  One that really hit home was my mom, since I haven't seen her in a few weeks.  Today she told me that she could really tell that I was thinner.  Which kind of dumbstruck me.  I mean, with all the McDonald's and fast food I've been eating lately?
But now that I think about it, if the small changes in my life are making a difference, what will happen if I make even more changes?  Actually stick to the things that I said I would do?

So again, I am making the step to stop eating fast food.  I know I have made this promise before, but this time, I am ready to step up, and make myself work for it.  I also had my parents bring up a bike today, and since I live close enough to work, I am going to start biking when it is nice out.  It's about a half hour walk and a 5 minute drive, so no reason not to ride a bike!

I also have many projects going on right now.  I am working on a present for my BFF's wedding (although she already probably knows what I am getting her, since I not so subtly asked her what her color preferences were.. lol).   I have about 2 weeks to get it finished, so I need to get going!  I also have a pattern for Felted Slippers.  My mom got me a pair for Christmas and they fell apart, so I am hoping to make my own!  I also want to make headbands... and baby hats... and a baby afghan is on the list too!  I think keeping my hand busy keeps me from snacking too, so that helps a lot!

So this is a new step in my journey, and I'm hoping I can have the strength to do it!

Confused

So, I guess I'm feeling conflicted right now.

I have always been overweight.  And it's gotten to be a part of me.  Not necessarily a good part, but it is still a part of who I am.  Everyone always says you should be happy with yourself.  And I feel like I am.  I don't feel like I need to lose 100 lbs to make myself a better person.  But, there's still that part of me that really does.  Who am I losing weight for?  Is it for myself?  It's it so I don't feel so out of place around other people?  I feel like I don't know why I am doing this, so it makes it even harder to actually get up and be motivated.

Maybe if I were single I would be more motivated.  But why should I lose weight for someone to love me?  I found someone who loves me the way that I am, and he is behind me 110%, whether I lose weight or not.

And now, reading over what I just wrote, it sounds like a bunch of excuses.  And I feel like I am just lazy, I don't want to put that effort in to lose the weight and be healthy.  And, as horrible as it sounds, it's not going to happen until I get over that and am ready to work hard.  No one said it was going to be easy, and I went into it knowing that.

Blah.  Just so many things going on in my life right now... I feel like the next few months are so unsure.

Slacker

So not only have I been slacking on blog posts, even worse, I have been slacking in other departments as well.

No fast food?  That went down the drain.  I've gotten back into my old habit of having it at least once a week, and not only is it hard on my waistline, it's hard on my wallet too.

I have been slacking on the exercise too.  Starting tomorrow, some of the girls and I at work will be participating in Gundersen Lutheran's Minutes in Motion.  The premise is that you be active 30 minutes a day, or 210 minutes in a week.  Plus, there's some awesome prizes that you can win.  I am so ready to be back on track again, and hopefully work through some of these conflicting feelings that I'm going through.

I love Saturdays off...

So the past few days haven't been the greatest.  I broke my fast food streak... and had McDonald's the other night after work.  I got my usual giant meal... and immediately regretted it.  It's been such a long time since I've had anything nearly that greasy that my stomach was upset the rest of the night.  And then last night we went to Buzzard Billy's (our favorite restaurant, they have AWESOME Cajun food).  I did get a grilled chicken sandwich but couldn't resist the hush puppies.  So this week, I have to step it up.  I attempted to do my Jillian Michael's work out DVD, but it was too hardcore for me.. I only lasted about 20 minutes.  So, I went on a walk instead.  I borrowed my neighbor's dog, and she kept my pace up!  I'll have to steal her more often!
I also ordered Eat This, Not That and Eat This, Not That Supermarket Guide.  I've skimmed through them, and found out that the wraps I always buy are the worst wrap that you can buy in the supermarket.  They have 210 calories in just one wrap.. whereas I could eat a sandwich with less calories than that!  I am looking forward to reading them and learning more :)  I also got new headphones for my iPod, my other ones fell apart... now I just need to make a workout mix!

Nom nom nom.

I just put this delicious looking Bacon Ranch Slowcooker Chicken in the crock pot for dinner.  I even added a little honey to it... Honey Bacon Ranch?  Who knows, hopefully it won't taste horrible... lol.  I went for a half hour walk this morning, and it felt great! I will definitely be making this a habit!

Last night I made sweet and sour meatballs, and it was delicious!  I made rice to go with them, and then froze some containers to take to work with me.  I should have leftovers of the chicken and ranch too, so I should be set for work.

I went to coffee Holly this week, and she gave me some great pointers and tips about being healthy.  She has lost 82 pounds and she is definitely an inspiration!  The past 2 days I have been counting calories, and have been successful in eating less than my goal for the day.  And, I'm still able to eat the things I like!  I just have to watch the portions, because they're surprisingly huge.  Especially when you look at a little bottle of pop at it has 2 servings in it.  I've kind of felt like "that" girl at work though.  I was always annoyed by the people who count every single calorie, and thought it was dumb.  But now I see the benefit to it, and try not to talk about it to other people too much, beside the ones who want to hear about it.

Thank you all for your support!  I really appreciate all of it!

Goal!

My new goal: lose 20 lbs before Michelle's wedding in May.  I am going to be a bridesmaid, and I just bought a super cute dress to wear to the rehearsal dinner.  I tried it on last night and the top fit perfectly, however there were a few lumps and bumps that I would like to get rid of before the wedding.  I have 4 months to do it, and I WILL work my butt off!  I feel like I finally have the motivation to do it, and I think that's all I really needed.  Before, I never really had that push to get me to go, and now I have it!  I also joined myfitnesspal.com so hopefully that's some more motivation too!  It's a little chilly outside, but it's nice and sunny, and I'm hoping I can get out there and get on a walk today!

Nom.

After a week of keeping track of my weight, I actually gained 3 lbs.  I guess I should have known that I would.. I broke my no fast food streak on my way to Mankato with Cory's mom on Saturday... and did some drinking and a whole lot of eating for the Super Bowl.  No one said this was going to be easy, and it sure isn't.  One of my co-workers did notice something that's changed since I've quit eating fast food, she said my face is really starting to clear up!  Acne is something I've been dealing with forever, so if that's all that changes, I think I will be happy! :)

This week began the week of taking my lunch to school with me.  I even take breakfast and snack!

Tonight, I am making lasagna for the first time!  It was easy to make, I just hope it tastes alright!  There will be plenty of leftovers for me and Cory to take to work!

Another goal this week is to get out and start walking again.  I want to start doing it on my breaks for sure, and then again when I get home from work.  I can't wait for the days to get longer so it's actually light until a decent time!  Although I hate my neighborhood, I think it's not that great to walk in even when it's light out!

Ouch.

315.  That sure wasn't the number I expected to see on the scale.  I mean, I know I've gained weight, but I sure never expected it to be that much.  I've always thought weight was just a number, that it matters much more how you feel about yourself than anything, but this made me feel awful.  And it's up to me to change it.
I will work hard to stick to my goals. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've had fast food, and it's been difficult.
At this point, I am wearing size 26 pants, and the day those started getting snug on me was the day I knew I had to make a change.  My freshman year of college, I actually lost weight, instead of gaining like everyone else did.  I was down to a size 18, and that's the smallest I think I've ever been.  Living on the 4th floor of the dorm (with no elevator), walking everywhere on campus, and eating cafeteria food really helped.  I also didn't drink at that point, so no consuming empty calories there.  Although, I definitely don't drink as much as I used to... it's a rare event these days.
Now that I've gotten a scale, I've started tracking my weight on a Excel spreadsheet.  I learned from my friend Holly that a good way to keep yourself accountable is to track your weight and keep a spreadsheet.  I think this will be a good way of keeping track of my baby steps too :)

Finally, a Sunday off :)

Weekends can be dangerous, can't they?  I know Cory and I have gotten in the habit of ordering out, a lot, on the weekends.  But this weekend, we actually cooked!  Yesterday I made stir fry for lunch and had green bean casserole for dinner.  Today, I had suggested that we go to Rosie's Cafe for breakfast.  It's one of our favorite places, cheap and great food!  Instead, I got up and made french toast (Cory is getting spoiled, I've been making it on weekends that I have off), we had leftover taco meat and rice for lunch, and for dinner, we've got a pot roast in the crock pot.  All in all, I feel like it was a pretty successful weekend, in terms of not eating out!
Now, while I'm watching the Niners/Giants game (Go Niners!), I'm searching for some yummy recipes.  I'm excited to start cooking, and have plenty of leftovers for me and Cory to start taking to work.  Pinterest is a ridiculous place to find awesome recipes.  Although there are some amazing looking calorie loaded desserts on there too.  I did find a recipe for Cheesecake Bars that I am going to try for our Super Bowl party!
Unfortunately we can only go grocery shopping once a month because of how I get paid, so this next trip is going to be a big one, so we can stock up on ingredients and I can cook a lot!  You should see my shopping list!  I'm pretty proud on myself.  I'm thinking my next goal will be portion control, this will be a fun one, because food is sooooo good. :)

Until next time...
Allison

The year of Allison

Thanks everyone for all of your support!  I had almost 100 hits on this post yesterday, and I am so thankful for those of you who commented with your words of wisdom.  I do have to say I like Amber's "The Year of Allison" so I may just have to stick with that theme. :)

Not going to lie, after working all day at the daycare, and then heading to the mall to work there until close, made it extremely difficult to not go through the drive through.  I mean, come on.  It's so, convenient!  That's what it's there for!  But knowing that I made this promise to myself helped me turn the other way and head home.  I know to some of you this may not seem like a big deal, but to me, it's like I'm so hungry at the end of the day, I feel like I deserve that Big Mac and large fries.  Why?  Oh, because all I've eaten today is that egg salad sandwich at lunch, so what would it hurt?  It's not that I skip meals on purpose, it's just that it gets so hectic in my room with 6 infants sometimes, that I just don't have time to eat.  So, on to my next goal... Eating during the day.

I work at a daycare.  Eating with the kids is part of my job, it's actually a requirement for us to sit family style and eat what the kids eat.  So, this worked well for me when I was working with the older kids... "Miss Allison, why aren't you eating your peas?!  You need to try a 'no thank you' bite!"  So, I started eating my fruits and veggies better.  Plus, those little boogers keep you running all day, so you really did have one serving and you were done.  However, now that I am in the infant room, there's no one nagging me to eat my veggies.  In fact, most of the time, I tell the cook not to bring them to me because I know they're going to go into the garbage anyway.  And then, the cook always brings us extra food.  Sure, it's the "balanced meals" we've all had (think school cafeteria).  So, if it's good for the kids, it's good for me, right?  Well, not exactly.

Since I got a super cute Thirty-One lunch bag from my wonderful cousin, Amy, I have been itching to actually use it!  I'm excited to try new recipes so I can have leftovers to take to work with me.  This way, I know what I'm eating, and how much I'm eating.  Then I can take a sandwich, yogurt, and some carrots and dip, and know that I am full, because not eating throughout the day is obviously not the answer.

New year, new me.

Ok, so I might be a little late for a post like this.  Everyone else made their new year's resolutions weeks ago-- vowing to lose weight, be a better person, the list goes on.  Beyond Cory and I deciding to try our hardest to save money, I didn't give my resolution a second thought.  Every year I say I'm going to lose weight, and every year I do absolutely nothing about it.
For some reason, as I was sitting feeding a bottle at work yesterday, I decided that I want this year to be different.  I realize that my life, especially my weight, is not going to change as drastically or as quickly as I always imagine it will.  So, baby steps it is.  My first one: giving up fast food.  I eat it probably 2 or 3 times a week, and that's not good.  Not good for my waistline, or my bank account.  I think if I can take this baby step, then it will lead to others.
I am also hoping that by blogging this, people will read it, and I will be held more accountable.  Maybe if I get it out there that I am doing this, I have someone else keeping track of me, instead of just me.  So, any words of encouragement would be appreciated. :)

Next goal: Get a scale.  Put my weight progress on here?  Scary thought, indeed...