One Week!

I know this might seem petty to a lot of people... and I even had a "friend" once rip on me for doing it, but I haven't eaten at McDonald's in a whole week!  I have a really bad habit of going there after I get done at the mall, or even if I have an early day at daycare and can just pop on over there.  Oh sure, I make sure I switch up McDs, and hope that the same people aren't working, and pray they don't recognize me or my order from before.  I would tell myself, "It's ok that you're going to eat so much food, you've hardly eaten anything all day!"  Which, in and of itself, is not healthy either.. It's amazing the excuses I give to myself that I need to work on getting over.
One thing that made it easier was not having any money.  I have about $3 in my checking account right now, and that doesn't go very far.  I feel that my real challenge will be on payday, because that's when I'm the most guilty of stopping at the drive through.  It's the end of the month, I actually have money, and we are running out of food in the house because we need to go grocery shopping.  So, why not stop and get that Big Mac?

I am still working on cooking, and having healthy things around the house.  It's been really hard because with my old job, I got paid once a month, and even though I had a 2nd job at the mall, we really only got to grocery shop once a month.  I always felt bad having Cory go and pick up stuff that we needed, so I usually got by on what we had.  But, with my new job, I will go back to being paid bi-weekly again, thank goodness!  So, I am going to work on getting over that temptation of food on payday!

Why?

Three times this week.  That's how many times I went to McDonalds.  And with I eat, that's twice as many calories as I should be eating in a day.  After I eat it, I feel awful.  And yet, I still stop at the drive through. I still spend the money.  That's $30 this week, $30 that I could have spent on bills.  And the worst part?  I ordered some new jeans from Maurices this week.. size 26, and they were pretty snug.  I kept telling myself, I'll wear them a few times, not throw them in the dryer and they'll be stretched out in no time.  But there is no reason I should be wanting to STRETCH out size 26's.  So what did I do the next day after work?  Hit up the drive through.

When I was a freshman in college, I did the opposite of most freshman.  I actually lost weight.  I was walking all over, lived on the 4th floor of my building, didn't keep any food in my room, and ate small meals at the cafeteria (since that was really the only place my meal plan allowed me to eat).  I lost almost 40 pounds, and was down to a size 18... the smallest I can remember.  Then, junior year, I was able to get the meal plan where you could eat anywhere on campus, at any time.  So, I started eating sandwiches and fries for lunch almost every day. Then in the evening, it was burgers and fries.  When I moved off campus, it helped a little bit, I was able to make my own meals, but I still had those ridiculous curly fries at lunch everyday.  So, I gained it all back.

I keep making promises to myself, saying that I'll stop with the fast food, eat healthier, exercise.  Do I ever do it?  No.  I need to figure something out.. and fast.  Nutritionist?  Weight Watchers?  What is going to hold me accountable?

What a week.

It's definitely been awhile since I've been so stressed.  It's really hard staying motivated when you know you're losing your job.  But, I know I have to keep trucking, for the kids. We've already lost a couple of our students, and it's been really hard.  Your daycare kids become a huge part of your life when you see them for 40+ hours a week.  It's been really hard on the families too, trying to find new care.  Some of them are holding out to see where I'm going to be teaching, but that's hard to tell them too, especially since I haven't been offered a job yet, and the jobs I've been applying for don't have infant care.  Some people are still holding on to the hope that we might stay open after all of this.  So, I guess all I can do is keep applying, and get myself out there.

Yesterday, we also helped Holly move into her new apartment!  It was gorgeous, and HUGE!  You should see the counter space and her walk-in closet!  I wanted those apartments, but I am so happy for her! :)

On the menu this week? Balsamic Vinaigrette Strawberry Salad  Only... I didn't have Olive Oil.. so I used peanut oil?  It doesn't taste too bad to me, but we will see!  I also froze my pint of strawberries, since I let my other batch get moldy.  They'll be good for shakes and smoothies too!

What a turn of events...

So, I was complaining about my job last week... and yesterday we found out that our center will be closing, for good.  Apparently, the building we are occupying is in need of major repair, and the church we rent from has made the decision not to go ahead of repairs.  Plus, the catholic school system here decided we were not a profitable venture (which I don't understand... aren't schools non-profit organizations?), so they decided to completely eliminate the early childhood program.  It really broke my heart, knowing how many families are desperate for child care now.  I know for a fact we are one of very few infant programs in the city, so parents were scrambling to find care for their children.
So now, I am on the scramble to find a new job.  We do get unemployment, but it's through the Diocese and not the state, so it's not quite as much as I need.  So I am praying that I will find another job before the month is up.  I have already applied a few places, and one of my friends just tipped me about a job, so I will be calling about that tomorrow.  My boss is very understanding, I'm just afraid that all of our families will leave, and there won't even be enough kids to keep us employed for the rest of the month.


Ah, life.  It's full of surprises, isn't it?