So, I guess I'm feeling conflicted right now.
I have always been overweight. And it's gotten to be a part of me. Not necessarily a good part, but it is still a part of who I am. Everyone always says you should be happy with yourself. And I feel like I am. I don't feel like I need to lose 100 lbs to make myself a better person. But, there's still that part of me that really does. Who am I losing weight for? Is it for myself? It's it so I don't feel so out of place around other people? I feel like I don't know why I am doing this, so it makes it even harder to actually get up and be motivated.
Maybe if I were single I would be more motivated. But why should I lose weight for someone to love me? I found someone who loves me the way that I am, and he is behind me 110%, whether I lose weight or not.
And now, reading over what I just wrote, it sounds like a bunch of excuses. And I feel like I am just lazy, I don't want to put that effort in to lose the weight and be healthy. And, as horrible as it sounds, it's not going to happen until I get over that and am ready to work hard. No one said it was going to be easy, and I went into it knowing that.
Blah. Just so many things going on in my life right now... I feel like the next few months are so unsure.
Now that I am officially following your site... :)
ReplyDeleteI hear what you are saying in this post. Shouldn't you be happy with who you are? What are you doing this for? You will figure this out and it changes throughout your journey. The biggest thing is... do it for you.
One thing that may help you is: Think of something that you feel your weight has held you back from. (If you have something) Then think of this: You are not living life to the fullest if you are holding yourself back from doing something bc of your weight. (Sorry if I am over stepping)
I have many many things I have held myself back from bc I am overweight. I use every excuse to get out of it instead of being honest. My motivation is to get to a point where I am not letting my size hold me back from doing things I would like to try.
Keep your head up!